Making Memories!!!

Its been nearly a month and a thensome since I started my countdown.......the one which takes me back to pilani of course! And I've ben diligently counting down each day one-by-one; with just 4 days remaining now. And I'm really really psyched; which goes without saying of course. But then, on second thoughts, why exactly am I happy?? I mean I'm leaving the comforts of my air conditioned room for a dark and dingy single occupancy room; leaving my mom's awesome cooking for the unthinkable mess food .

It's true of course that almost everyone has to make the same transition, but my happiness and excitement is very obviously much more than any of my friends( so much so in fact that my wingies have started an online poll on my wing's secret facebook group about the various reason which could be dragging me back to pilani; some really interesting options on that too!!). So my reasons have to be different than my friends' right?

Well the simplest explanation is maybe I simply enjoy college life more than my peers. Those chat sessions on the hostel roof at night, walking back from class with friends, sampling new stuff at the redi everyday with friends, going to cnot for the ocassional treat, returning from the lib at midnight, jaipur treats with wingies as well as dept friends, late night trips to ANC, wing cricket, playing mafia through the night, the list really is endless. Each of these things are so deeply etched in my memory that life almost seems incomplete without it.

In fact, sometimes I'm scared if I'll get back those same things which I've so fallen in love with. If it were up to me I'd rather relive my first year  than move onto my second. Maybe this tendency of not letting go is what makes me different. Prone to misery, yes; but different. But then of course there's this rational side of my brain which takes over and reminds me that the only reason we look forward to things in life is because they are unknown. Well, conflict between these two parts of my brain's nothing new for me, so I'll just let them fight it out for themeselves!!

Damn it!! I'm getting nostalgic about college even before I've begun my second year. Wonder what's gonna happen when I finally pass out. Dont really wanna think about that right now though. But suddenly I remember my Dad's enthusiasm when he's discussing my college life with me, almost as if he's reliving those moments himself. I remember his words: "This is the single most enjoyable time you will ever have in your entire life. So live it well. Live it so fully that you never have any regrets when you think about it later". And I realise, now's not the time to go back down the memory lane; now is the time for MAKING MEMORIES!

To Hope or Not to Hope!!

To hope or not to hope? That's one big question on my mind right now. And the worst part is, I have equally compelling arguments for both sides. My eternal philosophy has been to not expect anything from life, basically live on no hopes. At least then you're not hurt when your hopes are dashed. And I've found myself vindicated pretty often, inasmuch that I've always managed to take the bad falls in my stride. I do not know whether I'd have been able to do that if I'd always 'hoped' for the best.         
              
 But then, it does seem quite a loser thing to do; not hope. I mean the people who said 'hope sustains life' definitely knew their stuff right? Plus, it's not like I myself have never hoped for anything, I'd be a hypocrite if I said that. Of course I've hoped for things, maybe not expected them, but certainly there was a glimmer of light in a corner of my mind. But then the sane rational part of my mind has never been bereft of self doubts. Good or not I dont know but that's how it always has been.

But of late, I've started questioning my philosophy more than usual, supplemented, of course by watching a video of 'The Secret' on youtube and a second-time viewing of 'Shawshank Redemption'. If hope indeed is that good a thing, then why hasnt it been good to me? Most likely because of the huge bags of negative emotions I've been carrying. But then again, the question is can anyone have a positive frame of mind at all times?? I mean aren't self doubts gonna creep in even in the most self- assured of people? The game of statistics again I guess.

But my greatest question right now is, can I afford to hope? Well if it was left to me I'd let things remain the way they are; 'hopeless', in a manner of speaking. Change doesn't come easily to me. The niche I've carved for myself seems too comfortable a place to leave. For right now I can atleast think that I may someday be able to overcome this barrier and start hoping. But the day I hope and fall, I don't know whether I'll have enough strength to stand back up.

But there is something that I do know. I will never be able to live with myself until I try, until I know for sure that this is what is good for me, until I have lost all hope of hoping! I wont ever know if I have the strength to get up until I've fallen; and whatever else I might be, I'm surely not this, a coward. What will come, will come; and I will deal with it. But for now, I HOPE.

Ten things to do before I die!

Its 12:45 am and its been two hours since I finished watching final destination. And as every person who's ever watched that movie will agree, death is the foremost, or maybe the only thing on your mind once you've watched it. Well, the good thing is I'm not thinking abt the gory ways leading to death, but the not so good thing is I'm still thinking of death nonetheless. And I suddenly felt, what if I were to die tomorrow; drop off; just like that. Not a very good thought i admit, one that would surely send my mom into a tizzy, but a thought nonetheless.

And when i thought about dying, Strangely the emotion I felt wasn't of fear; rather one of incompleteness. And i realised it wasnt the idea of dying that scared me, but that of dying without having done anything! So I decided to make this 'Oh so awesome' list of things to do before I die. Seemed a great idea. But somehow I couldn't seem to come up with anything really good; something which would remove that nagging feeling. I mean, travelling the world, staying in 5 star hotels, and other such stuff seemed good, but just not good enough!

Damn this was irritating; attribute it to my lazy nature or anything else; dying seemed easier than this. And just as I was about to give up, a thought struck me; maybe nothing can make up for death, maybe that is the reason why people fear death so much. And in a flash of consciousness I came up with the perfect solution. I didnt have the list of ten things to do before I die; but i did have THE thing to do before I die: LIVE.

Barefoot in a Bugatti!!

You know a man has to be eccentric when he has a bugatti but drives it barefoot. But when it came to Maqbool Fida Hussain, one would call it his charm rather than his eccentricity. Such was his demeanour that every single person who's ever had the good fortune to meet with him has been dumbstruck by his wit, his humour, and his willingness to live. A marvellous painter he was; undoubtedly, but when today people are writing his eulogies, its not his paintings which hold the forefront, but he as a man which comes to light.

Over time, MF Hussain has become something of a martyr for all of us, wronged by the saffron clad politicos of Indian society. A man who had even considered flying into India on a Friday, because courts are closed on Saturday and Sunday and flying back before the a case could be lodged against him; He was that desperate to experience his motherland one last time.

But a man of strong principles, he never regretted his actions which had led to his exile. His acceptance of the Qatari citizenship was indeed the last straw; his final attempt to break all ties from the country he loved so much. And another failed one it should be said, coz his heart never truly could accept the fact that he was no longer an india.

Even in death he was as always full of spirit and energy. It wont be wrong to say that at 96; MF hussain died young.

Run DK Bose!!

Calling it a song would be an understatement. something which has achieved cult status over barely 2-3 weeks can only be called a phenomenon. What was most likely just a way to get around the censor board has now become a part of loads of peoples' facebook status update. So what is it about this song that has taken this country by storm? What does this song do to people that even SHEILA or MUNNI couldnt? It is after all just a common hindi cuss word; albeit among the more hushed ones. Is is just the fact that people are expressing their joy at being able to curse so openly.

Because if it is, then it does seem that the gen-x indeed is extremely shallow ( please do forgive this seemingly prudish statement). Or is it just because the creative team of the film found a way around the dreaded censor board? That still wouldn't be that bad. everyone loves breaking rules, or in this case, going around them. I guess it's just much easier to relate to people who havn't made it their life's business to preach at everyone in sight (read: rajshri production movies; anyone who's watched them will know what im talking about)

Personally I find the former reason more entertaining. i mean, it would make song writing just do much more easier. Even you or I could make the big bucks; and life would be awesome again. no wonder my friend's facebook status says, RUN DK BOSE!!!

There are times and there are times!!

5:00 am. Hardly a time for sane mortals to be awake; except maybe in places like Haridwar and Varanasi, but then that's what the 'sane' was for. 5:00 am. like the preface of a book which no one reads, the break of dawn is seldom seen by anyone, and rarely ever experienced. The transformation from the black inky darkness to the purplish hue and finally to the pink dawn is magic itself! Anyone who has seen this panoramic beauty unfold before him has accepted one fact: MAGIC does exist!! And it happens every morning.

for the few souls who do wake up or ever have woken up at this ungodly hour, the day ahead has been one of total bliss. There is something about seeing the sun rising which makes you wonder about the creator and his beauty. Something which gives you hope. Hope to start a new day, however bad yesterday was; hope to do something new; hope see things in a way you didnt see yesterday; hope that whatever happens in the course of the day there will be another sunrise, another morning, another thing of beauty.

Hope and joy are motivators enough in our dull and boring lives. They're the catalysts which make our life worth living, they're what we ultimately live for. They are LIFE.

5:00 am. a time for hope, joy and optimism. But then, that's for the insane folks innit??